… who did their best with what they had
I went for a drink with a dear friend of mine and we were sharing memories of our mothers and our fathers. We spoke about how they did what they could for their family whilst our fathers did what they could for themselves.
Our mothers worked hard to keep our family together, to keep our family from falling apart but they didn’t realize as they were doing that, we could see as children that it was broken — life was broken for her.
We saw how our fathers would go out late, come home and would be infuriated with how life was hard and unfair, as our mothers held space in their OWN pain and injustice. And doing this all while trying to think how she had to feed their children tomorrow and how she needed to mend her daughter’s dress because there wasn’t enough money to buy a new one.
SHIT! We saw this as children then and it stays with us for all it’s worth, the bad — the good — the feelings of shame and the in betweens — it stays with us subconsciously in our belief systems and in how we see the world.
We as adults stay part of our parents if we like it or not until we are aware how their pain, trauma and wounds have tattooed themselves into our souls.
Our fathers did whatever they wanted to do and our mothers did what they needed to keep us going, whilst we as children didn’t appreciate it at the time and they as a women, as humans probably only really desired solace from it all and no one came for her.
Hey, don’t get me wrong, I have forgiveness as we all have generational trauma AND I allow myself to be pissed off with rage but I’m also aware of how my rage can take me into a place of victim or a place of change and service. If this is you too, know that this rage is sending you back home AND as you find that way back — remember — that all the feelings are okay.
As we sat drinking our wines and talking about how fucked up it all was, I am proud of the women that we have become in it all and that we are seeking our truth in all the programming and pain.
Childhood wounds are THERE. AND your truth is also THERE. Take these words and make them your own. Take these words and love on your little girl and show her another way and then find a friend who gets it with no judgement. Find someone who will help you home my love because it’s not a path that is meant to be taken alone.
Author: Jenn | Hypnobreathwork Coach for Mothers Healing from childhood wounds, generational trauma and seeking truth.
*my personal stories to create a community of healing as a speaker, writer and as a trauma educated conscious collective healer / conscious parenting coach / Hypnobreathwork® guide